A YY Couple Fan Fiction: We Are Dating, Chapter 3


Chapter 3: “Making Time part 1”

It’s been a week since Wooyoung and Seyoung shot their last episode for WGM. It has also been a week since they officially started dating, with only the knowledge of their very few close friends and relatives. Sadly, they haven’t seen each other since that week. He’s busy with preparations for their comeback and she’s also busy with filming her weekend drama Glorious Day.

Whenever she thinks about it she can’t help but wish that they were still filming WGM, but then, they wouldn’t be as true to each other as they are now, they wouldn’t be more free to do what they want to. She can really tell the difference. The constant unsupervised communication, thus she can only sigh. I wish there’s more time. I wish he’ll call like right now. These are the thoughts running in her head.

Now that she thought of it, he hasn’t called or sent a message in two days and she can’t help but start to worry, it’s not like him to just not send messages or not bother to call. She’s really bothered but not in a position to be distracted, she’s on her way to the filming location and she’s shooting a dramatic scene. She grabs her MP3 Player and headset, set it on shuffle and pushed a button to play. I need to focus or else it’s gonna be a long day, is what she’s thinking as she leans in a comfortable position at the back seat.

She got completely distracted though when she heard a particular song:

You by the light is the greatest find,

In a world full of wrong, you’re the thing that’s right,

Finally made it through the lonely, to the other side.

How can a song be spot on with certain situations? It’s exactly how she feels about him – he is her right choice. Though she still can’t believe sometimes that they are officially together because she feels it was not long ago when she was just admiring him from the sideline, when she used to be an MC of that music show, and now she’s his. He’s making her world, her days better.

You set it again, my heart’s in motion

Every word feels like a shooting star,

I’m at the edge of my emotions

Watching the shadows burning in the dark,

And I’m in love, and I’m terrified.

For the first time and the last time

In my only life.

That was exactly it; he makes her heart beats faster than it should. Everything has been really different ever since he came into her life, like it became brighter than it used to be. She is in love and the song is right, discovering how far gone she has gotten, it makes her terrified, afraid of things that is to happen, if they can really make it or not.

And this could be good, it’s already better than that

And nothing’s worse than knowing you’re holding back

I could be all that you’re needing if you let me try.

She made up her mind, she took her phone out of her purse and took a brief look at her wallpaper of Wooyoung smiling her favorite smile and pressed a speed dial. I can’t take this anymore; I need to hear his voice, I need to know what’s happening to him.

I only said it ‘cause I mean it,

I only mean it ‘cause it’s true

So don’t you doubt what I’ve been dreaming

‘cause it fills me up and holds me close

Whenever I’m without you.
The operator informs her that the number she is calling is on roaming. He’s still out of the country? I should really remember to ask for his detailed schedule next time. But wait, that would be embarrassing though. Aish, whatever! Wooyoung-ah answer the phone.

A few seconds more and she was informed by the operator that her call is going to be put thru his voicemail box, she’s really about to lose it but she noticed they’re almost at the filming location. She decided to leave a message:

“Wooyoung-ah, it’s me. Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in two days and I’m starting to worry. You’re okay right? Call me as soon as you get this. Bogoshipo. Saranghae.”
She pressed the end button just as her car stopped and her manager announced that they reached the filming location. She quickly tries to collect herself before getting off the car. In her mind she can’t help but think where on Earth are you Wooyoung-ah?

IN A HOTEL SOMEWHERE FAR FROM SOUTH KOREA, Wooyoung is staring at his phone, idiotic smile on his lips. Uri Seyoung chincha yeppeu, I’m really lucky, he can’t help but think.

“Earth to Wooyoung, are you there?” said Chansung, trying to get Wooyoung to snap out from his daydreaming.
“Wae? Yes I am here,” Wooyoung snaps, clearly annoyed by the disturbance of their youngest group member.

Mianheyo hyung, your phone rang. You didn’t even pick it up and you have that look like you have drifted somewhere far away. Didn’t you hear or see it ring? You have been staring at it for an hour now,” explains Chansung.

“I saw it, I just didn’t answer it on purpose,” Wooyoung replied, mischief reflected in his eyes.

“Who is it? Was it Seyoung?” He looks at Wooyoung’s expression to confirm his guess. “By chance are you planning an event or something? Did you know that we’re flying back today?”

“Yes, I know we are flying back today; in two hours,” he said after checking his watch. “As for your first question, you don’t need to know.” Wooyoung smiled, took his back pack and walked out of the hotel room while dialing a number. “Yoboseyo? Seyoung’s manager-nim, it’s me Wooyoung. I talked to you yesterday about..” Wooyoung said once the line was picked up.

“Yes, I am Seyoung’s manager. We are at the filming location now, what time are you coming?” asked Seyoung’s manager.

“We are leaving in two hours. You said the shoot will last until early evening right?”

“Yes, that’s the estimated time.”

“Alright, manager-nim, I’ll be there before she finishes shooting her last scene.”

“Arasso, and please call me hyung.”

“Kure, hyung. See you later. Khamsahamnida.” Wooyoung said before hanging up. I’ll see you soon, uri Park Seyoung-ie. I really miss you too. He thought while looking at Seyoung’s lovely face on his phone screen.

As he makes his way to the airport, most of his uneasiness slips off his shoulder. He’s gonna see her in a few hours. It’s like all his tiredness is gradually leaving his body. I’m gonna see her soon. God, it was a really long week, he thought and it really was. His groupmates has been teasing him like crazy because he spaces out sometimes. Of course they all know that he and Seyoung started dating officially and they are happy for them both. Nichkhun even gave him some advice that he of course gladly accepted. He’s really thankful for having such supportive, family-like groupmates, it’s a blessing. I wonder how she’s gonna react when she sees me later. I can’t really imagine it. Why is time running too slow? He thought while looking at his watch, willing time to pass by faster to no avail of course.

“LOOK A LITTLE BIT TO THE RIGHT SEYOUNG-SSHI, THAT’S IT; HOLD IT THERE, YES,” instructed the director to Seyoung. It’s the final frame of her shoot today and the director is being a bit picky, mostly because she’s having some difficulty, she’s really distracted.

“Okay; it’s all good. Cut!” the director said which means she’s free to go.

“Thank you Director-nim, sorry for the mistakes today,” Seyoung apologizes to the director.

“It is okay Seyoung-sshi. There are some days like this. Do get your act together on the next shoot, okay. It’s not like you to have continuous NGs in one scene. You’re done for today. Get some rest. You already have the schedule for tomorrow right?

Neh, thank you Director-nim.”

“Not a problem, I will see you tomorrow, Seyoung-sshi; remember, get yourself together.”

“Yes, Director-nim,” Seyoung bowed then made her way to where her car was parked while checking her phone. No call or message, what’s happening to this guy? Did he decide to dump me without notice or something? So frustrating! She’s starting to be annoyed with the situation and she can’t help but take it out on her car’s door by pulling it really hard to open.

“Seyoung-ah, annyeong!” Wooyoung greeted once he saw her after she forcefully opened the door. “Did the door do something bad to you? Was it misbehaving or something? Let me know, I’m going to break it down for you.”

“You.. When did you? How did you?” Seyoung can’t complete her sentences properly because she was both really surprised and happy at the same time to see him inside her car.

“I came a few hours ago; I actually took a nap here while waiting for you. I called your manager to ask for the location. He said you’re having a bad day at the shooting. I wonder why,” he teases her; she can see it in his eyes that he know very well why but she decided to just let it pass.

“Why didn’t you call nor message me for two days?” she feigned anger; she’s really happy and relieved to see him.

“I wanted to surprise you and I want you to miss me more, maybe more than I miss you.” Wooyoung said as he pulled her close to him. “I miss you like crazy Park Seyoung, you don’t have the slightest idea.”

“Perhaps I do and I miss you too.” She said as he allowed him to embrace her tightly.

“I have some free time today, do you wanna go on a date?” he asked.

“A date? Is that even a question? Where can we go?”

“Wherever you want to go, anywhere that would please you.”

“Hmmm, do you know anywhere quiet, far away from the public’s prying eye and completely private?”

“Anywhere quiet, private and far from the public’s eye; hmmm.. I do know of one place.”


“My house.” Wooyoung declared. “But it’s okay if you don’t want to come.” He said while pouting his signature pout; his killer aegyo.

This guy is going to be the downfall of me really; how could he use aegyo like that, it’s lethal! How do I say no to that? She thought while trying to look away from him. “Your house, you’re sure?”

“Yes, my house and I am sure.” He said as he holds her face in his hands. “I just want to spend some time with you.”

She can sense the sincerity in his voice and she wants to spend some time with him too. “Okay, let’s go to your house.” She said. She then sent a message to her manager who was waiting outside:

Oppa, please drop us at Wooyoung’s place. I’ll find my own way home afterwards.”


A YY Couple Fan Fiction: We Are Dating, Chapter 2


Chapter 2: “The Bridge We’re About to Cross”

He reached the river first. He was wishing so hard not to arrive at the location first but he guess luck was not on his side today. It’s his fault too, because he’s really excited yet at the same time dreading what she’s about to say. He’s having a conversation with himself in his head: She smiled when she agreed for us to talk right? She’s avoiding my eyes because she’s hiding something. God let my haunch be accurate, please. Jebal.

He checked his phone, for the nth time, wondering why she hasn’t sent any reply. She read his message, it clearly shows that it is read but why is she not replying? Where is she? He’s starting to panic now because: what if she changed her mind. He has plenty of other things to think of and worry about, like he has to fly out in 9 hours for the One Mic event on a neighboring country, he hasn’t really packed his essentials yet and more. He was about to call her when his phone rang, it’s Taecyeon and he has a feeling he is about to be in trouble.

Hyung, annyeong.” He greeted once he picked up the call.

Eodiseo? When are you getting back? Gwaenchana?” Taecyeon asked in one breath. He’s really a rapper for a reason.

Na? I’m at the river. Gwaenchanayo hyung, don’t worry. I’ll be back soon.” He reassures him, so as not to be questioned further.

“Alright, I just wanna make sure you are fine. I heard it’s your last shooting day. If you need someone to talk to just let me know okay?” Taecyeon said. At this point he’s feeling a bit guilty already but he can’t really say anything just yet; things are not yet clear. He can only say “mianhaeyo hyung” in his head for his groupmate’s clear concern about him.

Neh, hyung. See you later.” He said before hanging up.

Once he hanged up, he finally saw her car approaching. Dahaeng ida, chincha. He sighs in relief and got ready to get out of his car. This is it, time to face the music. Fighting, Jang Wooyoung! He cheers himself on, the best way he can.

Seyoung is as anxious as him once she parked her car. Although she’s sure of her answer she’s still a bit scared about how and what the reaction of everybody is going to be. She knows he’s famous; he’s been around far longer that she is. Will the fans accept them if ever their relationship becomes public one day? That thought makes her waver a bit about her decision that she almost didn’t want to get out of her car. But once she saw him get off his own car, she calmed down a bit. Gwaenchana Park Seyoung, you are worth it, he said you are worth it, she repeats in her head as she gets out of her car. You deserve to be happy with this awesome guy.

They smiled at each other when their eyes met. She can see clearly that he is nervous that it makes her really happy. He really cares; he’s not channeling a player look; he looks genuinely about to breakdown if I don’t say the words he wants to hear; these are the thoughts that formed in her head.

He’s looking at her adoringly; like always he’s captivated by her. How is it even possible to feel this much for someone, seriously? Is it your first time to be in love Jang Wooyoung, come back to your senses! He’s having this conversation in his head that’s not helping at all.

As they approach each other he said, “Yah, what took you so long, I thought you weren’t coming, I thought you changed your mind.”

Mian, mani kidaryeochi. I stopped to buy some coffee for us. Then a car followed me so I took a round before heading here. Chongmal, mianhe.” She said as she hands her the coffee that she bought.

“Here I thought.. It’s okay, you’re here now. Did you lose the car tailing you?” He asked gently, most of his worries washing away.

“I think so, I didn’t see the car when I took the main road.” She said. She started to fidget with the straw of her ice coffee. “So, uhm.. You wanted to talk about something?”

“Ah, that. Yes. Ahhh, do you remember on your birthday, I gave you a gift.” He started to speak though he can’t seem to get his words together. He’s scolding himself in his head, pull yourself together babo yah!

Yes, I remember, you gave me a very beautiful charmed watch right?” She teases him; she really loves it whenever he gets all shy; he’s just too cute.

“Yes, that. There’s a note with that remember, what I told you through the letter.”

“Which letter?” She continues to tease him, though she knows she’s gonna pay for it later, she just can’t help it.

“Ermm. Again. Let me start from the beginning.”

Arasso. Sijag!” She clapped her hand like a clapper to start a movie scene.

“I’ll get you later, really, wait for it Park Seyoung.” He clears his throat once more and said, “You remember what I wrote there, that I want you, us to be a reality. That I really, really like you it’s driving me crazy? I mean it, every single word. I held on to your promise and now that we ended our virtual marriage, I wanna ask you to really be with me. Be mine, for real.” He said sincerely, not even blinking while looking her directly in the eyes as if to show that the words are coming from the bottom of his heart.

The words are so beautiful she was stunned into silence. She smiled the sweetest she can, and offered her hand for him to hold. He took her hand without hesitation, unlike that time in Singapore; he didn’t miss the chance to hold her hand, like he vowed never to again.

“Park Seyoung-ie, you’re supposed to answer me, not just hold my hand. Why aren’t you saying anything and just smiling?”

“It’s just, I can’t believe you just said those words, like really coming directly from your lips and not written in paper. You’ve become more courageous Jang Wooyoung-ie.”

Yah, stop making fun of me and give me some answer. Palli daedaphae.”

“Joah, I’ll give you my answer. I don’t really need to think much. Kure, I’m yours.”

And just like that, the weight on his heart has been lifted, he felt really light. He can’t help himself from shouting, “yes!” and he even did a small dance before taking Seyoung in his arms.

“You can’t take it back okay, there’s no taking back!” he said over and over.

“No, I’m not gonna take it back, but can you please stop with the shouting and dancing, we’re at the Han River remember? What if someone sees us? We’ll be dead.”

“Okay, okay, sorry. I’m just really happy. Komapta, yoboyah, komapta.”

“We need to change that nickname too, ah, the chills.” She said as he tries to break away from his embrace.

“Where do you think you’re going? Geunyang isseo. Let’s stay like this for a bit more.”

“But you have a schedule tomorrow and it’s getting late. I’m needed at set tomorrow morning too.”

“Just a little bit more. Igo joah.”

“You’re really… What if someone sees us here?” she asked, although she really doesn’t care anymore too. She’s too happy to be just in his arms right now that all the reasons are disappearing.

“That’s a bridge that we’re gonna cross when that time comes. For now, let’s just stay like this some more. I’m never going to let you go ever.”

So they stayed like that for a few more minutes until their phones ring, bringing them back to the reality that they escaped from in those few minutes.

The Awakening

At first there was but sorrow,

Questions about tomorrow.

Never to come, not likely –

Falling to uncertainty.

Second came the acceptance –

“All is going to be well.”

Fate, most likely is a chance,

To hear those melodious bell.

Yet longing is a problem,

As is with expectation.

Unquenchable it may seem,

Difficult situation.

Thus comes imagination,

Yearning continuation.

Soaring high, delving in depths,

Mostly unexplored yet felt.

Awakened; here – a brain child,

My story yet not really.

Just my thoughts going all wild –

Picturing what should have been.

A YY Couple Fan Fiction: We Are Dating


Chapter 1: “The End is Actually the Beginning”

“CUT!” says the director marking the end of the taping, the end of their run as a virtual couple. “Sugohasyeotsseumnida (Thank you for your hard work),” Both Wooyoung and Seyoung are bowing to all the staff and crew present on their last taping day, expressing their appreciation and thankfulness.  They looked at each other, still somehow unsure about what just happened; that it really was the last day.

As everyone starts to pack up for the day Wooyoung asked Seyoung while looking at her intently in the eyes, “Are you going straight to the Glorious Day filming location?”

“I’ll be heading home; I don’t have any scene to shoot today. Why?” asked Seyoung. Although she already has an idea about what he’s gonna say next, she still can’t believe he remembered.

“I have something to say; well more on something to ask you. You did say on your birthday to ask you again after we filmed the last episode. Did you perhaps change your mind?” Wooyoung replied, a mixture of feelings reflecting in his eyes – uncertainty, expectant, hopeful.

Kure; let’s have that talk. Where do you want to have it?” she answered after a minute of thinking. She finally made up her mind. She’s finally sure that he meant everything he said on her birthday.

“I know you’re gonna say it’s cheesy but, can we have it at Han River? Let’s convoy; is that okay with you?” he said, using the tone and aegyo that she can never say no to.

“Alright, Han River it is then. See you later, Wooyoung-ah.” She’s trying really hard to sound normal and not excited worried that the crew might catch up with the two of them.

“See you later, Park Seyoung-ie.” He smiled her favorite smile, that warm smile that she knows he only shows her.

They waved goodbye to each other and to all the staff and crew that’s heading out, their work for the day done. She giddily made her way to where her car was parked, feeling all teenager-y all of a sudden. As she makes her way out of the parking lot, her thoughts went back to what happened on her birthday…

They finished shooting an episode – her birthday episode. He went above and beyond and she was really happy. Sure it was sort of scripted but still, the idea is very touching and though most people have no idea of her personality, she really likes small touching events. While everybody packs up for the day, Wooyoung approached her. She thought he already left, he has a packed schedule lately; their comeback is just around the corner and JYPE has their One Mic event. He’s smiling her favorite smile though she noticed that there’s something about him, like he’s anxious and nervous at the same time.

“You thought I left, right?” He asked her, as if he read what’s on her mind.

“Actually, I thought you did. You said you had a schedule in 3 hours.”

“I do, but I wanted to give you something. There’s also something I wanna ask you.”

“Give something to me? Aside from what you’ve already given, there’s still more?”

“You know that’s mostly just the script. That’s not entirely me. I wanted to give you something that is my idea and not someone else’s.” He took out a blue box from his backpack; it has blue ribbons like the puzzle he gave him on the show. “I know it’s not much, but I do hope that you’ll like it.” He said as he handed his gift.

“Wooyoung-ah I… I don’t know what to say. I mean… Thank you..” she was having a hard time to find the right words to say because she was taken by surprise. At the back of her head she’s thinking, by chance, does this mean something more? “Can I open it?” she asked after she has collected her thoughts.

“Of course you can and you are welcome.” She can see that expectant look in his eyes and she can’t help but be more excited than she already is.

Inside the box is a bracelet like watch with different charms on it. It’s easily the loveliest gift she has ever received in a long while and she can tell that he gave much thought into it specially after taking a good look at the charms attached to it.

“It’s beautiful! Thank you so much!” She said as she takes out the watch from the box. Only then did she notice the piece of paper folded carefully to resemble the shape of a heart. She should have seen it coming. She’s been feeling something has change about him lately, with the way he sends her messages, the late night calls. She just doesn’t want to face it yet because she’s afraid of the consequences, but she can feel it, she is after all Park Seyoung, perceptive Park Seyoung.

She decided to crack a joke out of it and said, “What’s this? Another song? Did you want to do a duet again without asking me if I want to?”

“No, it’s not, just read it. Quickly before I have a breakdown!” Wooyoung insisted, she can see that he’s looking more nervous by the minute and she finds it adorable.

Arasso, I’ll read it. Silently?” she asked him and he gave a weak nod. Somehow the content of the note is something she has been expecting, something that made her anxious and happy at the same time.


I know you’ve noticed that I am changing, that the way I’m feeling for you is not as simple as it used to be. Please believe me that I’ve put a lot of thought into this; I thought of all the possibility, what could and would happen if and when I decide to cross our virtual reality. And the answer that I came up with is: I want you; I want us to be a reality. I don’t care if it’s gonna be difficult, you are worth it. Seyoung-ah, Park Seyoung-ie, joahe. Chongmal joahe, michigetda. Will you be mine?

Keeping it real,


She read the note four more times before the content actually sink in. Did he really write those words? Even if she’s seeing it with her own eyes she still can’t believe it.

“Wooyoung-ah, I… I…” She doesn’t have any idea how to react. She’s avoiding his eyes though, for him not to get a read of what she really feels.

“I mean every single word in there, really. I hope you feel the same.” Wooyoung said while trying to catch her eyes.

As she avoids locking gaze with him, she said, “I really do not know what to say, I appreciate your feelings, but I just do not have the words right now. I feel like you could be just confused about our situation. Daeume, once we shoot our last episode together, if you still feel the same, ask me again.”

“Okay, I’m not really in a hurry to have your answer. I just want to let you know how I really feel, that I’m not just following anything anymore, that it’s really all me now. I’m going, I’ll see you next shoot.” Says Wooyoung, obviously downhearted but trying to smile.

“I’ll see you next shoot. Wooyoung-ah, you’re not being dumped okay, I just want us to think about this some more.” She couldn’t help but say because of what’s written in his face.

Arah, don’t worry. Just please, keep what I said in mind. Annyeong!” he said and walked away.

“Annyeong! And yeah, I’ll keep it in mind.” She said as she watched him walk away.

“Ka-talk.” The message alert called her attention back to the present. The message came from Wooyoung. It reads:

“Seyoung-ah, drive safely. I’ll see you soon. Remember what I told you, I mean every single word. Our last shoot is not the end, it’s the beginning. Saranghae.”

She can’t help but smile after reading his message. Yes, it’s not the end, it’s the beginning. And she’s driving excitedly towards her happiness.

If I Knew

If I knew that one day we would part,

I would’ve done everything in my power to block that.

I would’ve gone the distance to stop that day from coming,

I would’ve given everything; if only I knew.

If I knew that we’ll be saying goodbye,

If I knew that the end applies to us,

I would’ve given you more time and attention,

So as to let you know, you’re all I ever wanted.

You’re all that I’ll ever need and more,

Your sweet and gentle presence by my side,

Your reassuring silence, your trusting glance,

That keeps me grounded and makes me feel loved.

And then again if I knew, would I even bother,

Would I ever bother to even start?

Most likely not, how would I know though,

The privilege was never mine.

Yet, at this point in time all I could think of,

If I knew, I wouldn’t have let you walk out that door,

I would’ve just held your hand and whisper to your ear,

“Let me go too, to wherever you are, wherever you’ll be.”

Spot On: 미친거 아니야?(GO CRAZY!) by 2PM

It’s an awesome Wednesday! Aside from some discomfort and a reminder that I am not a robot, that I am a human being and a woman actually, today is an awesome day!  Why? Because finally, finally the wait for the craziest MV ever is over! Squeeeee! I don’t have any plans of hiding my excitement and glee; nope, I am not gonna hide it, ever!

I know just a few people know that I am a 2PM fan, like just a certain few because I’m a shy KPOP listener, or maybe. And those who know knows that I’ve been waiting for their comeback like crazy, like literally counting the days and checking the official YT account for any update whatsoever because I am WAITING for this. The wait is worth every minute and second of it.

I’ve seen this MV last night, coz like they said, the MV will be released on the 10th of September and it was. At exactly 12:00am KST (7:00pm GST) the MV was released for the world to view, in all its colorful and fun glory:

It is soooo awesome I passed out, and when I regain my senses I listened to it again then passed out; repeat 10, 20 and most probably more times. 2PM made an MV to go crazy for and I don’t have the right words to say how incredible the song and the MV are. I do, by the way, want to list what’s so awesome about the MV, here it is:

  1. The element of fun. I’m sure a lot will agree that fun is a necessity, it is a must have to make everything bearable, work, everyday life and love life, let’s include that though it’s a “Not Applicable” for me. I think the concept they adopt for this MV is “it’s the weekend, we are all burned out from our daily routine, let’s have some crazy fun time.” And believe it or not, in my 20s, I did that every once in a while.
  2. Easy to follow and fun choreography. I keep saying fun because watching this MV I really had so much fun, the choreography is really easy to follow that I was copying the motorcycle dance on my first listen. Like there’s nothing to it. And I’m not a good dancer, I just love trying.
  3. The multitude of colors. I’ve watched a lot of 2PM MV and so far this is the most colorful and I love it, I really do love it. They all managed to look really good in their colorful clothes, I bet only a few people can pull that off. Wooyoung’s outfit gave me a flashback of Secret Garden, Kim Joo-won’s track suit. Shining shimmering splendid! I so love blue!
  4. Portrayal of intoxication. I think Do Min-joon whenever I see someone floating with the moon on their back and to see six beautiful people do that, I might be intoxicated and so are they.
  5. Being themselves. I watched about all the Real 2PM vids and this MV shows the side of them they usually show when they sit together, just goofing off being young people. It’s cute.

Yeap, they went crazy; they just had a go at fun and came out looking oh so deliciously awesome. I’m thankful they drop the MV earlier, makes a good company while waiting for the album to be released. I’m happily camping and I might dance and go crazy while I’m at it.

On Repeat: Just One Day (하루만) – Son Ho Young & Danny Ahn (G.O.D)

I’m amazed at how completely random my taste in music is sometimes, well maybe it has something to do with my mood too but that’s an entirely difficult to explain thing. I do sometimes fear that I am somewhat bipolar or suffering from slight OCD but that’s just the negative side of me talking. And the other side of me doesn’t actually give a cent about it anymore so I say: “Self; live with it!”

The song I’m currently listening on repeat is Just One Day by Son Ho Young & Danny Ahn off the OST of the recently concluded drama on my watch list, Marriage Not Dating. The song is incredibly painful, possibly murdering in my perspective. Why? Well it has begging/pleading, longing and sacrifice; a recipe evoking empathy especially to an acutely passive person like me.

Listening to this song makes me think “ah, so I and my good friend in college aren’t the only ones who believe that pain is pleasure, we are not alone.” Weird thoughts, right? Well it is because I am weird like that, acknowledged. Enough about me and more of the song that’s currently keeping me in a pained state, enough to be inspire to actually be productive. The accompaniment of this piece is incredibly good (of course that’s my opinion) and the voice of the singers are imbued with begging/pleading, longing and sacrificing like it’s nothing. Another note, I never thought it’s possible to rap in a sad tone, is that possible? Apparently it is.

Going deeper into the song or getting lost in the lyrics, it brings back some of what I thought was forgotten sentiments:

There’s nothing more to lose so I cry
The one tear drop that is you, fills my eyes
Love, that easy word, is like a tear to me
So like a fool, I let it fall down

Tears, clearly nobody can escape tears and most of the time we let our tears flow without holding back. That means you’ve resigned to what’s happening, you’ve accepted, you admit that tears is all part of being conned to love, or maybe it’s just me.

I can breathe because it’s you
I can stand it because it’s you
Only one person

Often times when in a stage where you completely surrendered to being in love, there’s always just your object of affection. You’re Super(man/woman) but only for your other half.

For just one day, like a dream
I hope you will stay in my cruel life
Even if I live for one day, it’s you
Even though it hurts, it’s you

Whenever it’s too late or if ever the end has come, that desire to have a few moments more always comes up, the need to make a difference embedded to mind making you promise things that really, you should have done before things turn out for the worst.

I just want to love you for just one day
I want to see you just for an hour
Was love always this hard?
I don’t think my heart is going the way it wants to
Tears fall and linger on my chin
I’m afraid that it’ll fall, it disgusts me
Living is not living at all
Only you can save me, please think of me

No matter how simple we think the things we want are, it’s never the case. Even if we try to think of it simply, it’s not. The good part about it is that you try, you gave your best. No need to feel bad about anything. Pain demands to be felt says the writer of The Fault in Our Stars.

I’ll tell you again, I can’t go on if it’s not you
No one can take your place, never
I love you, I shout out once again toward you
It’s not enough to think about only us, please, I ask you

And some more undying profession of love and desperation, I did mention this is a very desperate and pleading song right, well that’s the simplest way to describe it.

I really feel so much pain listening to this song and in actuality, I feel it twices because all the begging could have been prevented, the possibility is there but hey, it’s the concept so be it. And I needed a bit of depression to be inspired anyways so I’ll be listening some more.

On Repeat: It’s Alright, It’s Love (괜찮아 사랑이야) – DAVICHI

So.. Yeah, I think this is going to be sort of a regular thingy, On Repeat; because I do tend to play songs on repeat for days it’s ridiculous and fun. Yes fun, because I love fun things. As of the moment, the song I have on repeat is It’s Alright, It’s Love by Davichi off the OST of the drama that I am currently obsessed with: It’s Okay, That’s Love.

It doesn’t fall in any of my usual selection which is upbeat, cheerful R&B-ish, alternative rock-ish meet somewhat heavy metal but it completely charmed me to listen to it over and over again. I’ve got one word why, LONGING. The song expresses a strong feeling of longing, from the melody to the voice of the singer, down to the accompaniment; it has LONGING written all over it and it’s hurting me in a very good way. The lyrics are not helping either because it’s simply beautiful that I can’t help but look into it deeply:

Do you see my heart? Why is it love?
I was never gonna fall in love again
But I’m such a fool

Generally that’s the question, how, why and what. Those questions usually comes from a person trying to look at LOVE in a logical way, someone who has crashed and burned before because of love but, unavoidably; jumps at the same boat again even though thinking somehow badly of themselves.

Why am I happy? I think of your face
Only stay by my side, forever you

Love as we experienced, yes we, and I won’t bother to expound why it’s “we”; makes us go all cuckoo and lose our mojos. It’s possible that it helps boost endorphins level too because it makes people happy and gay. And being in a state where one is happy and gay, it’s only natural to build a “wall” around what causes happiness. By that I mean securing that it would be a constant thing, something like the only F word that I strongly consider as wishful thinking: FOREVER.

You came to me with the wind like the swaying flowers
You knocked on my heart, I love you

Falling in love is magical, it could happen abruptly sometimes but that is a magical abruptly, like being touched by an angel. Thus finding that right person or for the right person to find you, it’s similar to completing a puzzle, the better picture is revealed.

My heart hurts when I see you
It’s alright, it’s love
My flawed heart and my love
Will you accept it? Me?

No matter how much happiness love brings, it also brings pain but then it’s alright because it’s all part of it; all part of love as a whole. There’s insecurity too, the feeling that you won’t add up. But, it’s not such a big deal especially if both parties are open to the fact that “perfection” is merely a preference rather than a reality.

Love me
I love you

Again, the expectation to have one person’s feeling to be reciprocated is a given, lex talionis. Though with LOVE, it doesn’t really work that way thus the longing builds up, the pain intensified. Despite it all, the possibility for us to embrace the idea and the premise of being in love again will not seize because it is LOVE. I’m gonna borrow one of my favorite quotes from “The Witch of Portobello” by one of my beloved authors in this whole Milky Way who is Paulo Coelho:

“Love is.”

Yes, love is. We can spend our whole life to try and give it a meaning but it is just is, LOVE is.

Needless to say I am filled with longing these days because of this song but it’s alright, it’s worth it.

Lyrics Source | popgasa |

On Repeat: Cross My Mind by Twin Forks

Watching Korean Dramas (and Taiwanese too, well at least “some” Taiwanese drama that includes Aaron Yan) is not just all about the dramas; most of the time or always, it’s also about the OST. The OST keeps the dramas alive, more addicting and most of the time as is the case with me, I get attached to the songs more than the drama itself that I find myself listening to it on repeat just to listen to those significant lyrics, feel those particular emotions and be lost in that very moment.

The song that I’m currently listening to on repeat is Cross My Mind by Twin Forks, it’s off the OST of It’s Okay, That’s Love, a drama I am currently watching, well obsessing is the proper word; I can’t have enough of it. The same goes to the song, which is the reason of course why it’s on repeat. You may ask what the charm of this particular song is and how ironic is it that I came across an awesome English song while watching a Korean drama? Well, I say the possibility is there and chingudeul, possibility is endless. The charm of this particular song doesn’t end with the melody which is alive and catchy, its charm, for me lays on its lyrics that seem to be the current story of my life, or so I believe. This is why:

Girl, it’s really good to see you come around.
I know you’ve been lost, I’m glad you got found,
‘Cause I’ve been a little lost myself.

Sometimes, it happens that we meet someone from our past, someone you have completely assumed that like you, has been lost after the great event of facing the real world, or taking on the grown up pants. And it makes you feel good and nostalgic at the same time.

Found an old picture of you on my phone.
Had a new feeling, now I won’t let go
Until I can, I can tell you myself.

Otherwise you see something to remind you of those times, of those words that you have failed to say or express because let’s face it, sometimes sincerity makes you all shy because you’re afraid to show your cheesy side that you feel they won’t get but in fact they would but you didn’t bother to cross the bridge that’s why you never found out.

Why don’t you stay for a while?
It’s been too long since I’ve smiled.
There’s too few people I trust.
I won’t ask you for too much,
Good conversation and such,
And if I’m being honest…

People come and go in our lives; some will stay, some just passing by. But with all these people who came and gone, a few will completely get you, your heart and your trust and it won’t matter if they give you nothing but their understanding, to you who’s being understood and cared for, it’s worth all the gold you can think of possessing in this lifetime and more.

From time to time
You cross my mind.
Good company
Is hard to find.
From time to time
You cross my mind.
So stay with me,
Just for a night. (You cross my mind…)

And in time, as it is inevitable for people to part ways, memories made keep things alive, and sometimes, somehow fans the longing and makes you wish that someday in the near future, your paths may cross again, or for me, I wish that December comes faster.

That’s what is currently on repeat, matching my longing for tangible sincere and true company. Give it a listen, it might mean differently. After all, we each listen to the same song but we each see a different picture of what we are listening to. Don’t you think so, chingudeul?

A Flash of Inspiration

Inspiration comes to me in a flash,

Thus mostly, I grab a pen in a rush.

For fear of losing what seems to be rare,

A sort of precious gem beyond compare.

Carefully though, precise by the letter,

For the measures must come all together;

Even it’s not complicated numbers,

Even if it’s just words all scattered.

At times though, since I’m me I disregard,

Measures, “smeasure” I mix and bend backwards.

Otherwise I just set things free – let go;

Allowing all ideas build and flow.

For I see nothing wrong with free verses,

Or to thorns attached to pretty roses.

All there is – that flash of inspiration –

That pen rushing to its transformation.