“How much do you know yourself, how sure are you that that’s all to it about you?” Those are some of the questions I’ve been asking myself lately because currently, I’m not so sure about everything. Sad, right but I’m saying this in all honesty, the road ahead is shrouded in darkness and I don’t have a clue if I should still go on or what.
Why the sudden thought? Well, it just crossed my mind that this is the last year that my age would be included in the calendar and so far, nothing major has happened in my life. What have I been doing in my life anyways, where did all the time go?
Thinking about it now, I guess most of my life is spent away from my family, trying my best to support my brothers’ studies, which I know is a responsibility, well at least I think of it as a responsibility, something I owe to them especially because I was able to finish my studies before the ax fell. Knowing that, I won’t and I can’t accept that they won’t be able to finish their studies because my parents can’t support them anymore, thus I stepped up. And I think in doing so, I somehow have forgotten about me and it took me so long to realize.
Could it really be too late, too late to do what I really want to do? Should I go ahead now or should I wait for a few months more before moving forward? I’m so torn right now it’s killing me. I don’t understand because it’s too early in the year for me to be feeling this slump, my birthday is still several months away and I have never been that emotional in regards with my age.
Thus, I’m repeating this quote, know thyself; this wallowing and whining person is not really me, it’s just the slump talking and I know I’ll get my real self back sooner, I’m claiming it.