I lost you – three words, three mere words,
yet the shattering content,
cuts thoroughly to my existence.
“I’m in pain,” a description not sufficient,
just like “I’m falling apart”
can’t describe this hollowness inside.
It’s downright unbelievable,
for a few mere hours ago you promised
you will wait for my return.
I trusted you, believed in your radiant smile
and your oh so sweet kiss,
that I now realized was a goodbye.
And still, I can’t truly blame you,
for I understand how scared you are,
from the very beginning, from the start.
Yet I can’t take it too,
knowing that I lost you,
knowing I have to make do without you.
How do you move forward,
when you’re slumped immobile to the ground?
How do you wish not to die,
while you fee like being gnawed to bits?
How do you forgive your own flesh and blood,
when they are the roots of your suffering?
Where do you find the answer, how do you make a start?
I know it’s cowardly to say
I won’t pick up the pieces and fix parts.
I’ll stay immobile in this very slump,
where I lost you.