A Home or a House

When I went to your house, it always smelled of food and was warm. You knew it was a home. Then I had to come to this room, I hated it and it was colder and lonelier. That’s probably when it all began, when I stopped coming over to your house. -Kwon Ji Hyuk, Shut Up Flower Boy Band”

Living in a house on my own has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. The reason behind it is because I haven’t really experienced what it’s like to live completely alone, I’ve always shared space with someone so the concept is completely appealing and attractive to me. That is until I watched Shut Up Flower Boy Band. Kwon Ji Hyuk’s (played by Sung Joon) comparison of a home shared by a family and a house lived on your own left a deep impression on me. How a family home is warm and a house on your own is cold and lonely. It made me wonder: Do I still want to live in a house on my own?

Well, the way that I’m living now is sort of like the cold and lonely house that Ji Hyuk has even if I’m surrounded with people. It’s the same because even if I eat, interact and share a space with them, that feeling that you are a family is lacking, it’s not a home, there’s no belongingness at all. We each care more about ourselves (or so I feel,) we each have different problems and situation to settle and take care of. As I said, there’s no belongingness, no attachment whatsoever. Thinking about it just made me wonder some more, would it be better if I live in a house on my own?

I don’t usually care about these things, I’m completely passive most of the time that’s why I’m a bit weirded out with my way of thinking at the moment. Maybe it has to do with the time of the year; yes, I think it has something to do with that. Christmas is around the corner again and I’ll be sharing it with people who are not my family which is sad; which only rubs the fact that I really am not home but alone some place else in a house with different people.

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